SECRET SERVICE HIDES BEHIND CHILDREN AT STATE DEPARTMENT

This is too good. Via C.S. Monitor:

State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland opened the daily news briefing with a salute to the handful of underage observers who joined journalists for the mid-day run-down of global events.

But any hopes that the briefing would steer clear of the salacious dissipated as questions focused on charges that Secret Service agents and other U.S. government employees caroused with strippers and prostitutes on overseas assignments.

"What a topic to be talking about on Bring Your Kids To Work day," Nuland said. "Parents, you can explain all of this later."

Meanwhile, The Hill interviewed Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas), who said that she's been briefed about some new rules coming down the pike that will forbid Secret Service agents from going to "any place of bad acts."

That rules out Congress, I suppose. Bad acts are bad. Kids, don't do them, don't go near them, and plug up your ears while we talk about what daddy was doing in that hotel room.

As I predicted, the cover-up is swinging now, baby. It's a party!

FRESH SECRET SERVICE SEX SCANDAL

From Seatlle's KIROtv.com, the Secret Service apparently whored it up a year ago in San Salvador:

This source witnessed the majority of the men drink heavily ("wasted," "heavily intoxicated") at the strip club. He says most of the Secret Service "advance-team" members also paid extra for access to the VIP section of the club where they were provided a number of sexual favors in return for their cash.

...

"No surprise to me." The owner told Halsne his club routinely takes care of high-ranking employees of the U.S. embassy in San Salvador as well as visiting FBI and DEA agents.

 The source is referred to as a subcontractor, and he's backed up by the owner. Apparently, two of the agents took two women back to the hotel, and boasted that they did that all the time.

See also:
Secret Service Whoring It Up in Colombia

SECRET SERVICE UPDATE - Updated

SECRET SERVICE UPDATE - Updated

Now it turns out there were 20 working women, they all had to show IDs at the desk (and those were taken down somehow, copied, scanned...).

11 Agents and 20 ladies of the evening? A report says that the rest went to MARINES.

So, more to come.

Update to: Secret Service Whoring It Up in Colombia

Update TWO: April 19, 2012. It seems the "stiffer" only offered the woman $30, and she called the police. Yes, it also seems that the other guys were confirmed as from the Pentagon. (Or some other witchy D.C. symbol.) CNN says they number FIVE. Now, wait. 20 women, 16 guys... still not adding up.

Deeeeeeelightful.

Meanwhile, other Secret Service agents are in Turkey, shopping for a rug big enough to sweep this all under.

Secret Service WHORING IT UP in Colombia

These agents were hard at work, and it appears, off-work. The juicy details are just coming out:

Washington Post:

Kessler said he was told that a dozen agents had been removed from the trip. He added that soliciting prostitution is considered inappropriate by the Secret Service, even though it is legal in Colombia when conducted in designated “tolerance zones.” However, Kessler added, several of the agents involved are married.

CNN:

Rep. Peter King, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, was briefed on the matter and told CNN that the government personnel brought prostitutes back to their rooms Wednesday night and "one of the women did not leave the room in the morning."

A hotel manager tried to get in the room, and eventually the woman emerged and said "they owed her money," according to King. Similarly, U.S. government sources said there was a dispute between at least one Secret Service member and a woman brought back to his hotel over a request to be paid.

So, a dozen are dragged home, and another five are on lock-down in the hotel, still! Apparently they'd be drinking a huge amount, then went scrounging for hookers, and after they all or most got them, one of them had a dispute over the fees for now not-so-secret service.

Update: Secret Service Update

Jason Russell Vandalizes Cars While Whacking It

Jason Russell in happier times.

Jason Russell, co-founder of Invisible Children, of Kony 2012 fame, was apparently caught with his pants down. Literally. Local NBC:

Jason Russell, 33, was allegedly found masturbating in public, vandalizing cars and possibly under the influence of something, according to the SDPD.

If the man can vandalize cars while whacking it, I have to give him credit. But the CHILDREN, THINK OF THE CHILDREN. Seeing all this car rape in broad daylight. I guess he can call his next group Visible to the Children.

TMZ has the nsfw goods, and I wouldn't mind seeing the longer, perhaps even uncut version. (Caution, full backal nudity, with maybe something else showing, as he flails his palms upon the sidewalk. Is that his arm or ..?)

Invisible Children's statement contained this howler: "...we ask that you give his entire family privacy during this difficult time.''

Meanwhile, accusations of ties to far-Christianist-right extremists (yes, even connected to the Ugandan Kill the Gays bill) are dogging Invisible Children currently. The gist is that the group seems to ignore the Ugandan Government's history of crimes, which are of the same stomach-churning ilk.

So, have we been duped? Or has someone with a good heart and good intentions been used as a propaganda front man? Or none of the above, but while you're at it, kill the gays? Let's see if we can get to the bottom of this.

UPDATE:
I asked for it, I got it. More video. I think he says something like You're the devil!
He then applauds. (Nudity blurred, alas!)

NEWT ALLIES TO INTRODUCE "DEFENSE OF OPEN MARRIAGE ACT" IN CONGRESS

Unnamed Newt Gingrich's supporters in Congress have leaked that they will introduce the Defense of Open Marriage Act during the spring session.

One wife at a time?

The act, unfortunately known as DOOMA, may just spell doom for the religious right's former stance on such matters. Supporters, however, disagree that this would change the conservative definition of family values.

 

"We want to keep marriage as God intended it to be," one Representative stated, anonymously for now. "One husband, one wife, one mistress, and maybe a few flings on the side. These are the family values that made Newt a great American, and made America great."

Asked whether this might be considered a hypocritical change of position, he responded: "What change? We've always been for hypocrisy. Besides, it's in the Bible. Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines, and heaven only knows what he did on business trips."

How Reality TV Eats Its Own

Fairly good piece up on Reuters about the reality tv genre, making the claim that it killed the Real Housewives guy who committed suicide.

When I heard that Russell Armstrong, the estranged husband of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star Taylor Armstrong, committed suicide, the first thing that came into my head was “the show killed him.”

I was discussing this issue with a pal, who pointed out that perhaps a majority of the Housewives (who I've given up watching) have been through some sort of financial ruin, whether bankruptcy or foreclosure, and another huge number have had their marriages ruined.

She wanted to understand who would put themselves up on tv, break the bank to show off imagined wealth, to prove exactly what?

I think it's a pure snapshot of America, where the American Delusion replaces the American Dream. The real estate bubble is mirrored here. People finally reach some height, have a fame-whore wish to show it all off to the world, and then roll back down the hill like a stalled car. Most of these people don't get their own shows, however.

We revel in watching the delusions of others, branded as real.

Another Hypocrite Anti-Gay Closet-Case Lawmaker Flushed Out in Indiana

He voted for an anti-gay-marriage bill, but then offered, allegedly, money to an 18-year-old male for his companionship.

Is this getting to be a dog-bites-man story?

Via indystar.com:

Emails shared with The Indianapolis Star suggest that state Rep. Phillip Hinkle -- responding to a local posting on Craigslist -- offered a young man $80 plus tip to spend time with him Saturday night at the JW Marriott hotel.

The emails, sent from Hinkle's publicly listed personal address, ask the young man for "a couple hours of your time tonight" and offer him cash up front, with a tip of up to $50 or $60 "for a really good time."

 The guy, who said he was 20 in his ad, gets offered hush money via his sister, who somehow "intervenes." Those details look VERY dodgy, since the sister goes to meet the guy's daughter in a hotel, apparently to prove she has the e-mail evidence.

John Edwards indicted.

Red hot details here.

Apparently, a plea deal fell through. There was alleged money shipped in chocolate boxes, and other sketchy behavior, according to the story.  What I don't get was why it cost hundreds of thousands to play hide the mistress. Couldn't they have just bought her a wig, oversized sunglasses, a big floppy hat, sweatpants, and stashed her in a series of moderately priced, but decent, traveler's hotel?

With all the sameness of American strips, anonymity seems much more easily done. I guess a candidate's mistress gets her hideouts gold-plated.