WHAT RELIGION CAME IN THIS BOX?

Whatever it was, someone used it all up!

BURGER KING DEAD!

Burger King at his coronation as the Messiah.

And I didn't even know he was married.

No more paper crowns for you plebs!

THY NEIGHBOR'S ASS

I've NEVER, EVER seen the Ten Commandments posted in front of ANY church in my life.

I found a story of an attempt made quite some distance from the church, in New Jersey no less. Not the Bible Belt exactly, and they got them wrong! (There's an extra-points bonus error that the author of this amusing tale missed.) A search around brings up a smattering of these monuments actually in front of churches!

The above is an example of the standard boilerplate black granite, again being unveiled in front of some unsuspecting court house. I think there's a factory, since the blocks of rock all look the same. Note that the Tenth Commandment is shrunk down into, "Thou shalt not covet." This is clearly a big error, and a bearing of false witness in and of itself.

I thought that coveting is what makes people buy shiny new cars. Coveting is the very basis for the advertising industry. Good conservatives believe in coveting as a supreme value, above almost all others. Greed is God in Ayn Rand's world. Knock over those old ladies and grab that brass ring.

So, why do fundamentalist Christians INSIST these slabs be placed in front of court houses? Why not just slap them up on their own grounds, facing outward? Perhaps because that could be bad for business, especially that tiny one about adultery. Without breaking that Commandment, no soap opera would exist. What? The members might get a little squirmy if they had to walk past that holy suggestion every Sunday? Not possible!

The good Christians here have gone out of their way to avoid all that "thy neighbor's ass" wording, which might make 13-year-olds shriek in hysterics. The link above lists a number of translations, only one of which substitutes "donkey" for ass. Donkey? Guffaw.

But no, these people haven't even taken that coy approach, coveting is coveting and they don't like it. Covet a seashell you see all gleaming and pink down the beach, which is free and owned by no one? Stop it this instant. Drop that seashell and run from the wrath of Yahweh.

ARCHBISHOP DOLAN PAYED ABUSING PRIESTS TO LEAVE CHURCH

According to CNN and a bit of discovery in the Catholic Church's bankruptcy case in Milwaukee, our own Archbishop Dolan approved a program of $20K payoffs to priests leaving the church for abusing children.

On Thursday, the archdiocese confirmed that it had offered payoffs to abusive priests as "the most expedient and cost-effective way to have offenders laicized or removed from the priesthood."

Having an abuser volunteer to go through the process known as laicization - formally leaving the priesthood - "was faster and less expensive. It made sense to try and move these men out of the priesthood as quickly as possible," the archdiocese said in a statement.

Lovely. How expedient. The abuser cash-out. I guess there were enough of them to push the Milwaukee church into BANKRUPTCY. Yeah, right, the Catholic Church is bankrupt. Sell a few bejewelled gewgaws and diadems and the like. Have a damn tag sale. Hell, donate all future bingo proceeds to a fun.

One Catholic church source defended the payment plan on Thursday, saying, “You either pay them to leave and give them money for food and clothes and shelter as they look for a job or you have a drawn out trial that could take years.”

“Wouldn’t that be preferable than to keep them as priests and paying their salaries,” the source, who would agree to speak only anonymously. “And wouldn’t it be better than a trial and to have victims testifying and cross examined?”

Er, better for WHOM? Exactly whom would that be better for? Can someone clue me in? Laicized indeed.

Update: DOLAY DENIES, DENIES, DENIES

SEE ALSO: PRIEST STANDS UP TO WA CATHOLIC CHURCH ANTIGAY PETITION DRIVE

BRAINWASHED TODDLER SINGS ANTI-GAY HATE JINGLE BEFORE CHURCH (VIDEO)

Children singing in Church to enthusiastic... by f100001838231867

Watch, if you can stomach the poison that's been given this innocent child. "Ain't no homos gonna go to heaven," gets them jumping to their feet and cheering.

Here you have it, a full-on demonstration of why the national far-right crowd opposes anti-bullying laws. They want kids to grow up to be a member of the anti-gay hate patrol, to spew epithets, and possibly to inflict harm verbally, maybe even physically. It's "just kids," after all, isn't it?

You could call it child abuse, but it's so widespread that it just seems part of the air we breathe. Hatred does not come from the air, though, it comes from aping the unevolved apes like the big ones dressed up in these pews.

Related: ANTI-GAY PREACHER PROTEST

(Funny how these things are all coming up now. It's almost like a timed campaign. I'm not a major conspiracy theorist, but Gay Pride celebrations are just around the corner, or going on about now.)

UPDATE: CUE THE MARTYRDOM

Daily news reports:

Since it hit the blogosphere, the church, identified as the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle Church in Greensburg, Indiana, has received harassing phone calls, and its pastor, Jeff Sangl, has even gotten death threats at home, members told TMZ.com.

Catholic Priest Stands Up Against Archbishop in WA Antigay Petition Drive

Via Think Progress:

But at least one Catholic leader — Father Michael Ryan of St. James Cathedral — is resisting the effort and refusing to “circulate petitions inside his parish for the campaign to repeal the state’s same-sex marriage law”:

Dear Friends,
Archbishop Sartain has written a letter in which he has expressed his support for Referendum 74 and for the collecting of signatures in parishes. Media reports regarding this are somewhat misleading. While the Archbishop has given his support to the effort, he has wisely left it up to each pastor to decide whether to allow the collection of signatures in his own parish.
After discussing the matter with the members of the Cathedral’s pastoral ministry team, I have decided that we will not participate in the collecting of signatures in our parish. Doing so would, I believe, prove hurtful and seriously divisive in our community.
Father Ryan

This statement took guts, and he received a standing ovation in his church upon his appearance. Read the details. It looks like people are not just falling in line with bigotry any more.

P.S. Isn't this the Church getting directly involved with politics? How is it not, when it's a directive from the archbishop? Enlighten me.

Cross-posted at Flaneur: "Does The Soul Not Feel Better, When The True Church, Does Something Risky and Truth-Filled"

See also: ARCHBISHOP DOLAN'S ABUSING PRIEST PAY-OFFS

David Brooks: ORIGINAL SIN to blame for Afghan Massacre?

That's right, that's what he wonders, right here:

"According to this older worldview, Robert Bales, like all of us, is a mixture of virtue and depravity. His job is to struggle daily to strengthen the good and resist the evil, policing small transgressions to prevent larger ones. If he didn’t do that, and if he was swept up in a whirlwind, then even a formerly good man is capable of monstrous acts that shock the soul and sear the brain."

I wish Brooks would just come out and say, "I blame original sin," but he doesn't. The mind reels, trying to figure out what exactly he is saying. In sum, nothing. He fails to say what he thinks, and just maunders on about the age-old question: "Humans, good or evil?"

Pundits like him? I'll let you guess which of evil or good I'd class him in. He always slithers away from a conclusion, following another actor in the original original-sin myth.

The disturbing part of his nonsense is its function as smokescreen. Well, perhaps it was The Devil... Yes, el diablo himself, horns and all.

Geez, could you just shut your backward, Medieval, if not evil, thoughts off for a second and not throw out a defense not allowed in court for 500 years. Of course, back then, in those same good ol' days, that defense would get you hanged as a witch.

This is the conservatives' brightest bulb on the marquee? Or is he second, after Newt?

Rick Santorum: Marriage a 'Privilege' Not for Yous Gays

Little Ricky sticks his foot in his mouth yet again. Listen through for the compendium of right-wing arguments against gay marriage to date.

He carefully argues for only hetero marriage based on birthin' them babies. Never mind that lesbians do this at an alarming rate! Children born to them would not be allowed a second parent, no way, no how.

If you follow his "logic" all opposite-sex couples would have to prove fertility to get married. Vasectomies will be outlawed in his very strange kingdom.

[video: looks to be CNN with a Think Progress overlay. How do they get away with slapping their stamp on it, when it clearly says CNN?]

In New York, Marriage Has Always Been a Function of the State. Period.

Even in early Euro-American history, marriage was regarded as a state function. Churches, even official ones, married couples, but only under the laws of whatever colony it was. Other officials were also allowed to marry people.

No one could just go around marrying people without recognition by law, and that is true to this day.

I know of at least one case where a very minor official tried doing it. It was beyond his office and he was immediately up on charges. The marriage was also considered null and void.

Nontraditional forms of other-sex marriage also had to gain approval over time.

At least in this country, marriage has always been a function of the state to define by its own rules. Anyone pretending otherwise is lying to you.

Republicans, Catholic Church Still Blocking Gay Marriage in New York

photo Roger D in NYC. Gov.'s office detail.

The Times seems to think it will turn around, saying Gov. Cuomo is sounding confident.

I'm thinking that the Republicans went from 'this is a vote of conscience,' to, 'OMG, some gay people will try to rent out St. Pat's Cathedral.' The Senate majority is stuck in a dilemma: Let the bill go forward and the far right will blame the whole R delegation, regardless of the lack of a called party-line vote. Stop the bill, and several Senators in downstate districts are in jeopardy of losing their seats and tipping the majority away.

The Republicans seemed to have it in hand last week, but then big bad Bishop Dolan chimed in with Medieval-style bombast, threatening to rend his garments and call down clouds of locusts.

To wit:

Please, not here!  We cherish true freedom, not as the license to do whatever we want, but the liberty to do what we ought; we acknowledge that not every desire, urge, want, or chic cause is automatically a "right." And, what about other rights, like that of a child to be raised in a family with a mom and a dad?

The Church is always a factor, but the bigoted shrieks have been deafening this week. After what this RICO-worthy institution has gotten away with? Who is Dolan fooling? No one around here. He could have just said: "It's a free country for the right people who do things our way."

Meanwhile, liberty waits for a reply.

Please! Here!

Is Newt His Own Favorite Charity Case?

Looks like he may have funneled money from his "charity" to his for profit businesses.

ABC relates:

The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich's for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich's books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker's entities, Gingrich Productions.

Renew that leadership with bales of cash, Newt. There's more heinous behavior of the kind in the article, including fundraising letters on his own stationery chopping up a quote from Pres. O. to state that ours is not a Christian nation. (Famous quote, very stirring, adding and including others, just like the founders expressly stated that they wanted.)

I ask you, Who would Jesus bilk?

Newt can also be found in many gardenscapes.

The NONMIRACLE on the Hudson

Okay. I have to say it. A brilliant pilot landed a plane on the water. I saw the video. There were no angels waving him in. He did it. The plane is not made of magic nanoparticles, and it could not even survive a couple of geese vacuumed into its engines.

The incident does nothing to prove or disprove the existence of invisible beings. Stop trying to fit it into the wrong framework. Did angels also hurl the Canada geese into the jets in order to knock the plane down in the first place?

No end of the world in sight.

We all had a good laugh or twelve over the latest doomsday preacher last week. A fine May day failed to conjure much disaster beyond the usual volcano blast in Iceland.

And yet Hollywood recently birthed a movie about the other end of the world prediction, 2012, and all that. Why is that nonsense prognostication any different? Because it's based on the fact that the Maya counted. They counted obsessively. Therefore, based on the fact that they had a complicated calendar system, the world will therefore end when a cycle based on numbers ends?

Let's get this right. The Mayans were advanced, but no experts in plate tectonics. I suppose it's strangely comforting to have some final chapter for the messiness of human affairs. Of course, the earth will face fate in some billions of years, when the sun fails spectacularly, but don't expect me to stay up all night some winter eve in 2012. Fool me twice...