SECRET SERVICE HIDES BEHIND CHILDREN AT STATE DEPARTMENT

This is too good. Via C.S. Monitor:

State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland opened the daily news briefing with a salute to the handful of underage observers who joined journalists for the mid-day run-down of global events.

But any hopes that the briefing would steer clear of the salacious dissipated as questions focused on charges that Secret Service agents and other U.S. government employees caroused with strippers and prostitutes on overseas assignments.

"What a topic to be talking about on Bring Your Kids To Work day," Nuland said. "Parents, you can explain all of this later."

Meanwhile, The Hill interviewed Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas), who said that she's been briefed about some new rules coming down the pike that will forbid Secret Service agents from going to "any place of bad acts."

That rules out Congress, I suppose. Bad acts are bad. Kids, don't do them, don't go near them, and plug up your ears while we talk about what daddy was doing in that hotel room.

As I predicted, the cover-up is swinging now, baby. It's a party!

SECRET SERVICE UPDATE - Updated

Now it turns out there were 20 working women, they all had to show IDs at the desk (and those were taken down somehow, copied, scanned...).

11 Agents and 20 ladies of the evening? A report says that the rest went to MARINES.

So, more to come.

Update to: Secret Service Whoring It Up in Colombia

Update TWO: April 19, 2012. It seems the "stiffer" only offered the woman $30, and she called the police. Yes, it also seems that the other guys were confirmed as from the Pentagon. (Or some other witchy D.C. symbol.) CNN says they number FIVE. Now, wait. 20 women, 16 guys... still not adding up.

Deeeeeeelightful.

Meanwhile, other Secret Service agents are in Turkey, shopping for a rug big enough to sweep this all under.

Secret Service WHORING IT UP in Colombia

These agents were hard at work, and it appears, off-work. The juicy details are just coming out:

Washington Post:

Kessler said he was told that a dozen agents had been removed from the trip. He added that soliciting prostitution is considered inappropriate by the Secret Service, even though it is legal in Colombia when conducted in designated “tolerance zones.” However, Kessler added, several of the agents involved are married.

CNN:

Rep. Peter King, chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, was briefed on the matter and told CNN that the government personnel brought prostitutes back to their rooms Wednesday night and "one of the women did not leave the room in the morning."

A hotel manager tried to get in the room, and eventually the woman emerged and said "they owed her money," according to King. Similarly, U.S. government sources said there was a dispute between at least one Secret Service member and a woman brought back to his hotel over a request to be paid.

So, a dozen are dragged home, and another five are on lock-down in the hotel, still! Apparently they'd be drinking a huge amount, then went scrounging for hookers, and after they all or most got them, one of them had a dispute over the fees for now not-so-secret service.

Update: Secret Service Update

Belvedere Vodka's Very, Ahem, Tasteful Sexual Assault Ad

Scrubbed from the Web site,
but the innertubes are forever.

That's keeping it classy, Belvedere.

You just know it's a bad day when the Daily News prints:

The company later released another apology.

I guess they were aiming for that hard-to-target date-rapist market.

When your image is high style, luxury, and a finely etched bottle, do not offend 99.99% of the people who might see this ad.

How did the wheels fall off the cart? Is this yet another sign of the Maya Apocalypse?

They're donating to anti-violence assistance, which is a somewhat helpful outcome, but seriously?

I remember recently they won big in a taste test. Odd, since vodka is supposed to have no flavor. Flavorless fine, tasteless not good!

Don't walk past corporate HQ on Monday, unless you want to trip over heads rolling out the door. Remember, something of this order usually needs approval. People inside the company, and where the ad was created, had to sign off. How did no one raise a hand and say, "Hold on. There might be a slight wrinkle in the plans?" Some brave soul might have spared everyone a lot of pain.

I thought I was getting this instead:

See. Nice, glowing bottles, shimmering crystal ceiling.
And it's vodka.

Prohibition is Back in Minnesota

Not fully, but the beer is running out in some bars. Star-Trib:

Of the roughly 10,000 establishments that sell liquor in Minnesota, most of those who needed to renew their buyer purchasing cards managed to do so before the July 1 shutdown started. About 300 were caught with cards that expired on June 30 and no way to renew the permits.

I guess this becomes a rolling drought, as these licenses come up for renewal.

Prohibition hasn't exactly returned, but partially so.

Time for enterprising Minnesotans to stockpile for the coming Alcoholypse.